Shame and guilt are common self-conscious emotions that most people will experience throughout their lives. Both emotions are deeply intertwined, and when left unchecked, one often leads to the other. Together, guilt and shame can be detrimental to your well-being. Understanding their entangled relationship is important for overcoming shame and guilt in addiction recovery.
At Driftwood Recovery, we know true healing starts with fostering a healthy connection to self and others. Through connection, you can find healthy attachments to alleviate the distressing emotions that can accompany recovery. We are dedicated to taking an attachment approach to recovery because connection is the foundation for understanding yourself and others.
In recovery, feelings of guilt and shame can bubble up and manifest as social withdrawal. Yet, at Driftwood Recovery, we know recovery cannot be done in isolation but within the embrace of a strong support network. A network of peers and loved ones can offer mutual support and community to help people overcome shame and guilt and thrive. However, you may question how finding connections in alumni can help you in overcoming shame and guilt. Dismantling the harm of addiction in your life starts with understanding the roots of your distress.
What Is Shame and Guilt?
In general, shame is an intense feeling of embarrassment or humiliation that arises from the perception that you have done something wrong. Further, shame leaves you feeling like you are a bad, unworthy, or inadequate person. Some additional symptoms of shame include:
- Worrying what others think of you
- Desire to withdraw from others
- You always feel like an outsider
On the other hand, guilt leaves you feeling remorse or a sense of responsibility for doing something wrong or the perception that you have done something wrong. Guilt is unlike shame, which does not have to stem from a specific situation or behavior. Rather, guilt often stems from a specific intentional or unintentional action. Overcoming shame and guilt means understanding their similarities and differences.
Understanding Differences Between Shame and Guilt
According to Europe’s Journal of Psychology, shame and guilt are self-critical emotions associated with self-reflection and self-evaluation. At the core of shame and guilt are negative self-evaluations and distress born from your perceived failures or transgressions. Listed below are some of the major differences between guilt and shame:
- Guilt focuses on negative moral self-evaluation
- Considers your behavior, goals, beliefs, or traits
- You evaluate yourself positively or negatively based on whether the behavior, goal, belief, or trait is seen as beneficial or harmful
- Can drive you to amend your mistakes
- Shame focuses on nonmoral, negative self-evaluation
- Is concerned with a perceived discrepancy between your actual and ideal self
- You evaluate your self-worth based on your place in society
- Can drive you to hide from others
Guilt and shame can have adaptive properties that contribute to differentiation in emotional responses to different forms of self-criticism. Yet, it is often the maladaptive aspects that make overcoming shame and guilt difficult.
Impact of Shame and Guilt on Addiction and Recovery
Shame and guilt can play overlapping roles in addiction and recovery. In addiction, shame and guilt made it difficult for you to believe you were worthy of healing and powerless to change. You overcame countless barriers to seek treatment, and now, in recovery, overcoming the shame and guilt that remain is vital to sustained recovery. When left to fester unaddressed, shame and trauma can impair your well-being. Listed below are some of the ways shame and guilt impede recovery:
- Risk for relapse
- Depression
- Low self-esteem
- Perfectionism
- Low self-worth
- Social withdrawal
- Impede healthy relationships
Further, shame and guilt can be detrimental to the connections you share with loved ones and recovery. As noted by BMC Psychiatry, most families are not equipped with the knowledge to adapt and appropriately respond to addiction, which disrupts the family’s normal system and functioning. Addiction exposes the family to a range of challenges, including socioeconomic, mental illness, abuse, conflicts, and dysfunction, among other issues. The family challenges born out of addiction can persist in recovery as shame and guilt. Some of the ways shame and guilt hinder healthy families and recovery include:
- Poor communication
- Low help-seeking behavior
- Dysfunctional family dynamics
Overcoming shame and guilt is not only valuable to you but for healing the whole family.
Overcoming Shame and Guilt in Recovery
Your ability to heal by overcoming shame and guilt is rooted in the power of connection, self-awareness, and self-understanding. Listed below are some of the ways you can work on overcoming shame and guilt to thrive:
- Practice mindfulness
- Deepness awareness of the self and emotions
- Understand the source of your guilt and shame
- Journal about the specific things you feel guilty or ashamed about
- Helps acknowledge your guilt and shame rather than avoid it
- Cultivates self-compassion, self-forgiveness, and acceptance to support moving forward
- Foster positive relationships by surrounding yourself with mutually supportive people
- Talk to trusted loved ones about how you have been feeling
- Surround yourself with people who value you
- Reach out for support
- Attend self-help groups
- Engage in therapy
Engaging in practices that promote dignity, respect, empathy, and trust in yourself and others is an important step toward overcoming shame and guilt. With positive connections in an alumni program, you are reminded that you are not alone in recovery.
Family Cohesion: Overcoming Shame Together to Heal at Driftwood Recovery
Overcoming shame and guilt in recovery supports family cohesion for sustained recovery. Positive family cohesion and connection with peers can support leading a courageous life in recovery for the whole family. At Driftwood Recovery, we believe in breaking the cycle of suffering through a peer-driven alumni program. Through alumni, you can find the encouragement, accountability, and service needed to overcome shame and guilt. With a commitment to connection, you and your loved ones can use long-term resources and services like weekly meetings, family dinners, and our family support group for sustained recovery.
Shame and or guilt are common emotions. Guilt can encourage you to make positive changes and amend mistakes. However, in recovery, shame and guilt can create a cycle of harm to your well-being. Feeling ashamed and guilty about your addiction or the choices you made before treatment can convince you that you are not worthy of healing or connection with others. A poor sense of self can contribute to relapse and greater family dysfunction. Overcoming shame and guilt through connection with others is invaluable to sustained recovery. At Driftwood Recovery, we are dedicated to providing resources that support connection with loved ones and peers in alumni to cultivate self-compassion and forgiveness to heal. Call us at (512) 759-8330 today.