According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), more than 21 million children had a parent who misused substances or had a substance use disorder (SUD). Being a parent, while incredibly rewarding, comes with a host of challenges. SUD adds another layer of difficulty in being the best version of yourself as a parent. You know you have put a lot of work into being a healthier you. However, you also know parenting in recovery is not easier than parenting with active SUD.
At Driftwood Recovery, we recognize how important family is for recovery and restoring balance in your relationships. With a focus on family in alumni, you can rebuild or foster connections to support you and your children’s well-being. You know your recovery is not a solo endeavor or something that only impacts you. Your children have been impacted by your substance use, too, and need support tools to heal, too.
However, we know the strain SUD has put on your relationships can be daunting. You may experience challenges with guilt about your SUD, how it has impacted your children, and maintaining recovery. The worries you have about your recovery, your relationships, and parenting in recovery are valid.
Although everyone’s situation is different, it is important to remember you are not alone in your experiences or concerns. With a vibrant alumni, you can find support and understanding from peers who are and have been through similar situations. Recovery and parenting in recovery are possible when you have a strong support system behind you. Now, you can start taking steps to heal yourself and your family by better understanding how SUD has impacted your children.
The Impact of Parental Substance Use on Children
As noted by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), SUD impedes your ability to fulfill your childrearing responsibilities. When your difficulty with parenting is left unaddressed, it can lead to long-term challenges for your children. Some of the ways parental substance use can negatively impact children include:
- Unhealthy attachments in their relationships
- Difficulty making friends and maintaining healthy relationships
- Challenges forming trust
- Difficulty regulating their emotions and behaviors
- At risk for SUD and other mental health disorders
Moreover, substance use can increase the risk of intentional and unintentional abuse and or neglect in the household. Parental substance use on its own is a part of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). However, your substance use can also impede your ability to maintain employment and stable housing. Without a stable income or housing, you lack the ability to provide basic necessities like food, clothing, and shelter, which is a form of neglect. Thinking about the ways your SUD has impacted your children is understandably upsetting. While you can not go back in time to prevent your children from having ACEs, you can use this knowledge to understand and address the challenges of parenting in recovery.
Addressing the Challenges of Parenting in Recovery
Beyond the challenges of recovery itself, there are several challenges found in parenting in recovery. From being physically, mentally, and emotionally present in your children’s lives again to the act of parenting, addressing these challenges can support effective parenting in recovery. Listed below are some of the challenges you may experience parenting in recovery:
- Employment
- Stable and safe housing
- Transportation
- Reestablishing your parenting role
- Childcare
- Balancing recovery and parenting responsibilities
- Guilt over your absence and SUD
- Overcompensating
- Difficulty disciplining and setting healthy boundaries
- Overcompensating
- Challenge building trust
Looking at the challenges to parenting in recovery highlights the fact that there are both interpersonal and structural barriers to sustained healing for parents and children. The presence of structural barriers to recovery capital adds more stress to the process of recovery and parenting in recovery.
Barriers to Sustained Healing While Parenting in Recovery
Many people in recovery experience challenges with finding employment, housing, and transportation in recovery. Parents in recovery experience additional challenges with childcare and fear of losing custody of children in recovery as well. Often, the structural barriers to recovery are intertwined with SUD stigma. Therefore, greater awareness and understanding of stigma and other structural barriers to recovery can help build recovery capital. With greater awareness of barriers, you can engage in self-advocacy to utilize supportive recovery services and resources to reduce and dismantle the barriers you experience. Moreover, access to support resources can help you build tools to help you overcome other challenges and effectively parent in recovery.
Overcoming Challenges to Parenting in Recovery
Engaging in your treatment center’s alumni program can help you work through parenting in recovery challenges like:
- Helps you take ownership and apologize to your children
- Supports setting healthy boundaries and positive discipline
- Seeking professional support to address your absence together
- Provides resources that make it possible for you to be present and rebuild trust
- Engaging in things that are important to your children
- School activities
- Picking them up on time
- Scheduling quality time
- Engaging in things that are important to your children
- Lean on your support network to care for your children while you attend recovery programming
- Learning from your peer’s parenting experiences
- Engage in self-care for yourself and model healthy behaviors for your children
With alumni support, you can continue to build on the tools you learned in treatment to be the best version of yourself for yourself and your children.
Healing the Parent-Child Relationship at Driftwood Recovery
At Driftwood Recovery, our alumni family is a peer-driven network designed to support recovery for you and your loved ones. Through attachment-focused treatment and a peer-driven alumni community, we provide support for the whole family to heal together. From services and resources like our online family support group to the courageous family program, meaningful connections can flourish. Together, you and your children can learn and grow toward each other in recovery. With support, parenting in recovery can be more than sobriety; it can be an opportunity to lead a fulfilling life as a family.
Your relationship with your children is important for healing the whole family. However, parenting in recovery comes with a variety of challenges and barriers that can impede healing for the whole family. It is understandable to feel guilty about the impact your substance use and absence have had on your children. For example, you may find it difficult to set healthy boundaries and discipline your children because of your guilt. Moreover, you may also face challenges with other recovery barriers like employment, housing, and childcare. Therefore, at Driftwood Recovery, we provide a vibrant alumni program where you can find community, services to reduce barriers, and build on tools to connect with your children. Call us at (512) 759-8330 today.